Preparing for Tessa's New Right Ear

Tessa had her second booth test on Tuesday at Hearts for Hearing. It was a unique experience and very different from the first one she had about a month or so ago. The unaided booth test is performed without her hearing aids and this time we were able to track more noticable responses to sound, probably due to Tessa's improved head control. Darin, me, Tessa and Tami (Tessa's AV therapist) all go into the booth and her audiologist, Kimi, sits outside the booth looking through a window and administers the hearing test. Darin holds Tessa in his lap with her sitting upright with as much freedom for movement as possible, while Tami and I watch Tessa intently to determine her responses to sound. Because of Tessa's motor delay and physical challenges, her reactions to sound are very unique to her.


It is an important process to begin observing Tessa's responses to sound so that when it's time to activate her cochlear implant (CI) in late June, we will be able to notice those similar responses during activation and testing. In the booth, Tessa's response wasn't immediately after hearing the sound, but there was a consistent delay in her reponse. It was very exciting to watch her be consistent, which ultimately tells us that she was hearing and responding to what she heard. It was very apparent to me during the test, that the delay in response is because of Tessa's motor challenges...not necessarily because she wasn't hearing anything. It was amazing to watch, because the longer we were in there observing her, the more I realized that her little brain was working so hard to recognize the sound and then to tell her little body to move in response to the sound. As hard as it is for her to do...she did it, over and over again. Her movements varied slightly between her bringing her hand up to her mouth a few moments after hearing the sound, or the turning or tilting of her head in response to a sound. There were also a few times where she would look at Tami or me thinking that the sound was coming from us....Little Miss Social ;) In general, it is difficult to perform booth tests on young children because you can't necessarily give the instruction "raise your right or left hand to signal when, and in which ear, you hear a sound." So, in many ways Tessa's responses are very normal for a child her age...it does take time to register the sound and have a response. For Tessa, there might just be a few more moments in between her movements and that will just be what is appropriate for her at this time.


We will go through several cochlear implant 'counseling' sessions between now and Tessa's June 7th surgery date. We will be learning about the equipment, the process of mapping and activating the device, the changes to anticipate with Tessa, and so-on and so-on. Tessa will be receiving the Nucleus 5 cochlear device: http://products.cochlearamericas.com/cochlear-implants/nucleus-5-system . As with any surgery, there are benefits and risks with the cochlear implant. One question we discussed on Tuesday was whether or not Tessa would ever be able to wear her right hearing aid again/hear out of her right ear without the CI. The answer is probably not. Tessa will likely lose any residual hearing in her right ear because the implant may destroy any remaining hearing in the implanted ear. This made me pause for a moment, but really, it all comes down to the fact that Tessa won't be able to learn speech and language with her diagnosis of profound hearing loss, so she has everything to gain and very little to lose with the CI. It was a difficult moment, I won't lie. It is a little scary to realize that we will be taking away what she does have in hopes of so much more.


I was driving to work Wednesday morning just thinking about all the new information we learned about CIs the evening before. There's plenty to be overwhelmed by, but lots to be excited about as well! I think I tend to miss a lot of opportunities for spiritual application in my life, but God's been working on me, and He blessed me with a spiritual way of thinking about the cochlear implant process. It's difficult to think about them 'stripping away' what is left of Tessa's own hearing by performing the surgery for the implant. Even though we know the hearing that Tessa does have is minimal, damaged and incapable of giving her the opportunities in life to learn to talk...it is what we know ~ all we know....what Tessa knows and all Tessa knows. Tessa's severe to profound hearing loss and her little pink hearing aids have become our normal and what we are comfortable with. But what we realize is that the decisions we are making today for her ears, are for the impact they will have on her future. The old has to be stripped away in order for her hearing to be made new. When we surrender our lives to the Lord it can feel like we are taking a risk. The way we are, the things we know, the habits we've formed and the comfort we've developed...all these things have to be stripped away in order to follow Christ. It requires us to allow the old/the comfortable to be replaced by the new and holy. Without Him we are minimal, we are damaged and we are incapable of experiencing the opportunities in life designed for His glory and His purpose. It is a difficult thing sometimes to acknowledge how much we need Him, but the gift of salvation is free and ours when we acknowledge that we need Him.


Wednesday morning I was thankful for this spiritual application regarding the cochlear implant process. I believe that God has gifted professionals in this world, from doctors to therapists, to allow us access to hopeful remedies for things damaged of this world. Tessa will be just as God has intended her to be: in some remedies we may find success and in others maybe failure, but the glory will be to the Lord because Tessa's life belongs to Him. As Tessa's mom, this process requires me to have faith...and at times I need a little boost. I think this week I got a kick of what I needed to move ahead in confidence by faith and faith alone. ~Whitney