Things to Remember

I want to jot down a few things (1, 2, 3) from this last week so I don't forget. I'm super bummed at the moment because our computer is out of commission, so I haven't been able to get any pictures or videos uploaded. Hopefully it will be fixed soon so I can get back in the full swing of things.

(1) Me, Parker and Tessa were driving home the other day and out of the blue Parker says "Mommy, how do we walk?" I was really confused for a minute and just responded with "Well, we use our legs and feet to walk." He says "Oh, so Deacon is a baby and crawls, but why doesn't Tessa walk?" (Deacon is our neighbor's 8 month old little boy. He has been motoring around a lot lately and the other day they had him out in the grass letting him crawl around...Parker thought it was the neatest thing.) Anyway, I quickly realized that Parker was a bit confused about watching Deacon move around so much, but not seeing Tessa do any of that. I could not have anticipated such profound perception from my 3 1/2 year old, but I thought fast and replied with "Well bub, Tessa was sick when she was a baby, so it's just going to take her a bit longer to learn how to crawl and walk." He gives somewhat of a disappointing "Yeah." Then I said "But we can help her right? We can help her work hard to learn to walk, just like we help her learn to listen, and see, and play with her toys, and drink from her sippy cup." Then he gave a rather uplifting "Yeah, we can help!"

(2) Tessa had a doctor's appointment last Friday afternoon and afterwards we went and picked Parker up from school. This was the first time I had ever taken Tessa to go get Parker. They were out at the playground, so we went out to find him. The teacher came up and asked if this was my baby and leaned in to talk to Tessa. I was holding Tessa and trying to pay attention to Parker and we were waiting for the teacher to let us into the building to go get Parker's things. Tessa was loving the attention but when I looked back I noticed the teacher looking at me slightly distressed and she said "she won't let go of my finger". Here I was thinking they were just having fun, and then I realized it was actually a very awkward moment. See, when Tessa grabs hold of your finger...she typically doesn't let go. Not only does her tone kick in, but she loves to hold hands...it makes for a deadly combination ;) Anyway, hadn't really considered how awkward it might be for someone to casually hold her hands and then not know exactly how to get her to let go. I am laughing about it today, but it wasn't really all that funny on Friday...a little stressful I guess. It is just so important to me for people to always feel comfortable interacting with Tessa, because if they don't feel comfortable...then they won't talk to her or play with her and I just know it would affect her so deeply. Note to self: monitor Tessa's death-grip with people that are new in her life!

(3) There is somewhat of a theme with Tessa these days...belly laughter at the simple things. She teaches me every day about what really matters in life and her laughter is the sweetest music to my ears. We have been noticing this theme with things like me cutting up my meat on my plate at a restaurant, daddy playing a game on the iPad and moving his fingers up and down on the screen, me tightening my lid on my water bottle, changing Tessa's diaper and reaching for diapers and wipes...there is something consistent about all these things and it's that quick, repetitive movement with our hands. I was telling Darin the other night, I wonder, if after talking with our hands and using our spirit fingers for a year of Tessa's life...if she misses that now. One of the biggest reality checks on how well Tessa is doing with her CI, is the lack of movement we do with our hands to get and keep her attention. We use our voices now...and it has been such a profound change, but I think even still, we forget sometimes. I can't help but think, all of these different kinds of movement, must bring Tessa a huge level of comfort and joy because it is what she knew for so long. I am so thankful at how much things have changed since we activated her CI and I am even more grateful to see that our communication styles of the past still bring her such joy. No body I know embraces change better than Tessa...and what better way to prove that, than to show such intentional delight when glimpses of our past are put before us. I believe she is choosing to not forget the impact they had on her at a time when she needed them the most!

I am so thankful for the most precious and perceptive 3 1/2 year old little boy. I am thankful for the little lessons along the way that will help me continue gracefully down this journey with Tessa. And I am blessed beyond measure, to have belly laughs from a 17 month old amazing little girl, fill my home and my heart like I could have never imagined. I am so thankful for a life where seemingly simple scenarios produce such incredible impact.

~Whitney