It's Been Awhile

It has been awhile since I've written, but we have been beautifully busy!

This evening at 8:15 p.m. we were enjoying these three different views:

Parker Gage.............Tessa Rayne..............Weston Trey

So much has changed in the last two months.  We've gone through emotions ranging from the great, the good, to the bad and the ugly...but through it all, the Lord is teaching so much.  I am learning lessons centered around ~ hoping more ~ loving more ~ and I'm paying more attention to the resulting experiences bursting with joy.  I'm confident I know this joy because there is an unfailing peace admist the great, the good, the bad and the ugly.  A peace that replaces overwhelming fear and panic and allows you to tip-toe fervently in grace.

When we began praying over a year ago, specifically focused on the potential growth of our family, we entered a time of "waiting on Him".  

From Jesus Calling March 26th (Weston's birthday :)

Waiting on Me means directing your attention to Me in hopeful anticipation of what I will do.  It entails trusting Me with every fiber of your being, instead of trying to figure things out yourself.  Waiting on Me is the way I designed you to live: all day, every day.  I created you to stay conscious of Me as you go about your daily duties.

I have promised many blessings to those who wait on Me: renewed strength, living above one's circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of My continual Presence.  Waiting on Me enables you to glorify Me by living in deep dependence on Me, ready to do My will.  It also helps you to enjoy Me; in My Presence is fullness of Joy.

Lamentations 3:24-26; Isaiah 40:31; Psalm 16:11 

We longed for the best for our family. Many seasons of life for us were already very hard, and this made our anticipation of what He would do, both exciting and terrifying.  Could we handle it?  Could we find the energy?  Could we manage it all without becoming withdrawn from the world around us?  Could we give each of them our very best?  Could we cope with 'typical' after our journey through disability?  Could we withstand the inevitable seasons of hard?  Could we tread the waters of judgement?  Could we endure....would we persevere?  

I find that there is only ever one answer to all of my questions, there is only one way for me to not be frozen with fear...I can't, but He can.  Cliche I know, but still so very true.  I still wake up with questions in my head.  Can I handle this?  Can I find the energy today?  Can I manage without withdrawing?  Can I cope, can I endure, can I persevere?  I don't think I have failed if I'm asking these questions.  I think I am human and that they push me to find hope in the Lord.  If what we desire aligns with His will, He provides the way.  And in Isaiah 40:31, He tells us exactly how we can.  We may not be sure of the answers to our questions, but we can rest knowing that our faith and trust in the One is all the provision that we need.

Isaiah 40:31New International Version (NIV)

31 but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

    they will run and not grow weary,

    they will walk and not be faint.

~Whitney