Such Disappointment

We had Tessa's pre-op appointment this afternoon for her right CI surgery scheduled in just two weeks on June 7th. Tessa has had a right ear infection that we've been treating for the last week or so. Turns out her tube is clogged, so we have a new prescription to use over the next week and we'll go back next Wednesday and make sure it's all cleared up.

After we got her ears checked out, we began discussing the surgery. We were asked to verify again when it was scheduled and said, "in two weeks, on the 7th" and were quickly interrupted with "no, things changed and I'm not available for surgery that week...were you not notified?"

We have been preparing ourselves for June 7th for a long time now. We rushed to get Tessa's last MRI done before June 7th. We've been preparing to put a hold on the house stuff for a few days until we get Tessa through and recovered from her surgery. We have someone lined up to help us care for Parker on June 7th. I've already taken off work June 7th and 8th. Tessa's activation appointments have been scheduled for months now, for a few weeks following surgery. Activation #1 on June 22nd, Activation/Mapping #2 on June 23rd, Activation/Mapping #3 on June 29th and her final Mapping on July 21st. We have scheduled our entire summer around these dates that were planned weeks ago. All of our family have planned their schedules to be here for the exciting first activation on June 22nd. I verified with Tessa's audiologist weeks ago that there wouldn't be much of a chance for the activation appointments to change because we would be having family traveling in, from all around, for the big day. There has been anxiety and anticipation wrapped up in June 7th and joy and excitement wrapped up in the day of celebration on June 22nd.

Needless to say, to hear that June 7th was no more...crushed me. How could this happen, how in the world? For weeks now there has been a plan in place...a plan to change our precious little girl's entire world. How do you accept that being taken away so unexpectedly?

Preparing for your precious little girl to potentially hear her name for the very first time, is no small thing. Realizing that the wait, full of anxiety and anticipation, will last even longer. I get it, it's just a date...it's just a rescheduling issue...but tonight it's exhaustion wrapped in intense disappointment. Tomorrow, maybe things will look better, but tonight it hurts like heck.

I'm supposed to receive a call from someone in scheduling tomorrow to discuss rescheduling surgery for June 22nd or June 29th. My prayer tonight is that another surgeon will be available to do Tessa's surgery during her originally scheduled timeframe.

~Whitney