Longevity - long existence or service / the length of time that something or someone lasts or continues / the amount of time you work in a given career
It's safe to say that 2016 was a whirlwind. I missed the opportunity to document so much of life for me and my family and it all makes me really sad. But I'm sitting here today...on the other side of 2016...thankful. Genuinely and deeply thankful for what God has done and is continuing to do in my life.
I've been waiting and waiting for the "right time" to write again. It's been awhile ya'll. I like to try and have things thought out and be intentional about what I share and when. But I'm ready for a change. It's time to be vulnerable in a way that I haven't been in a while. There will likely be details and moments that might not quite come together for the reader...but for me, it's time to do this. It's time to hit my re-start button and move forward in this new season of life where God is working so intimately in me.
November 7th 2005. My first day at a new job...a job that would take me over 11 years down the road. I didn't realize on that day, that what I was walking into would become longevity in my life. A job that would move me and my husband to a new state. A job that would bring the purchase of our first home together...a job that would sustain us through three pregnancies and the birth of our 3 amazing kiddos. A job that would allow for us to care for the delicate details of our family through Tessa's diagnosis and the very fragile and intense initial years of her life. A job that provided us the ability to purchase an accessible 'forever home' to raise our family and provide ease of living long-term for Tessa. A job where I spent 4 years in one particular position and then 7+ years in another. Both related and service oriented...and most days I felt like I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. After all, we didn't uproot our existence for some short-term gig...I think we had 'longevity' in our thinking all along.
There are so many moments, so many seasons, throughout those 11+ years that God made His plan and His purpose so very clear. There was incredible provision and we always did our very best to approach that provision humbly...not anything that we did or we deserved...simply God's provision for us and our family. Having relocated with the original company...at times, there was emphasis placed on my "longevity" at the company. The number of us that originally relocated, dwindled through the years, and after 11 years...that number had dwindled a lot. The provision through the longevity was indeed a gift. And on a surface/superficial level, the direct result of that longevity, felt like financial peace and security.
January 24th 2017. My last day at the place I had worked for over 11 years. It was an ending that I could have never prepared myself for...a shock. The initial devastation and confusion was intense but all-in-all, I would say fairly short-lived. I was 23 years old when I started and 34 on my last day there. God knew I could have never walked away from that job. He provided for our needs through that job and it wasn't something I could have given up. He knew that I cared so much about the people I provided a service for and I loved my job. Many would probably say I wasn't much cut out for 'corporate life'...but I had definitely found my niche. I have never really been a 'climb the ladder' type of person. My goal was to do the very best job that I could and to provide the best service I could provide. I was content and I cared deeply about the people...people have always come before anything else for me.
I sit here now, toward the end of April...almost 3 months since my life totally changed...and I can honestly say, that there is no doubt in my mind why. Even through the devastation that ensued that day, as I walked to my car and left that downtown building for the very last time, I knew it was exactly what God had planned for me. He knew it all along...and the time had come and He was cluing me in a bit on His plan.
Tessa was having a rough day at school that day, and since it was mid-day and I found myself in shock and with absolutely nothing to do, I went to school to see her and check on her. I was a train wreck, but her snuggles and the pat of her hand was exactly what I needed. I waited around and sat with Parker for lunch. I was visibly upset and when I told Parker I had lost my job, he gave me a hug and simply said "I thought that might be it...because Fridays are the only days you have ever been able to have lunch with me" (it was a Tuesday). There was much professional stress for me throughout the entire year of 2016 and he was keenly aware of that. Sweet boy...how he is able to digest the tough stuff like he does, is beyond me. I mean, God, in and through him, of course.
I knew it was time for me to be still. I did NOT want to miss this opportunity to hear and see exactly what God had on the horizon for me...for my family. I made just a couple of intentional contacts initially...but that was all I was prepared to do. I knew that this change was intended to be pretty huge and I wanted to make sure that I was allowing pieces to fall into place without imposing my own desires and control. I made the couple of connections, I filed for unemployment, and I started tending to all of the necessary 'business' that comes with losing a job. But I also woke up daily, desperate to feel the peace that I knew God had for me. At times, it was the absolute strangest combination of peace and anxiety. The big picture felt so right...but the details of the day to day were cumbersome. It's funny how that happens sometimes.
Two months ago today, I started my new job. The two initial contacts that I made, were the only two that were necessary. God already had His people in place to rally around me. His plan, it's there, if we realize that it requires us to take the time to stop and see it, embrace it. There is something about longevity that I think can cause the light to dim in our lives. Time and time again, throughout scripture, Jesus is doing a new thing. He is engaging, healing, teaching, encouraging. He is loving a new person and opening the eyes of those around Him. I realize now that the light had dimmed in my life. It was time to take my heart and my gifts to another realm...to begin having an impact by allowing God to work through me...through change and transition...and ultimately to grow me through the processes of doubt and insecurity. To grow me through the loss of longevity and to help me see that the only thing of value in this life, is the longevity in my relationship with Him. That is where life comes from.
~Whitney
*For the last few months I have been using #brighterdaysahead with my postings on facebook...and I just realized the symbolism with this post...there indeed are brighter days ahead because I believe God is bringing light back to a life that had dimmed. I don't look back on things with disappointment or regret, I just realize that when God says it's time to change, it's time.
