I have been thinking this morning and trying so hard to figure out what is wrong with me. I realized that this time last year I was dreaming about Christmas 2010 for the Bynum4. I had such a clear picture in my head of what this time of year would look like, with Parker almost 3 and Tessa almost 9 months. I could picture Tessa exploring all the presents and crawling around trying to pull the ornaments off the tree. I pictured her big brother helping her open her gifts and showing off all of his new toys to her. I have realized today that I am grieving the loss of the dreams I had. I know God will establish new hopes and dreams for our family, but the reality of the ones lost, is a difficult thing to work through.
A sweet friend at work sent me this precious poem this morning. It has blessed me with a timely perspective.
HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD
A meeting was held quite far from Earth!
It's time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the LORD above,
This Special Child will need much love.
Her progress may be very slow,
Accomplishments she may not show.
And she'll require extra care
From the folks she meets down there.
She may not run or laugh or play,
Her thoughts may seem quite far away,
In many ways she won't adapt,
And she'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where she's sent,
We want her life to be content.
Please LORD, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.
They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play,
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild,
Is HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD.
by Edna Massionilla
December 1981
~Whitney
Oh..what a beautiful gift that poem is! It brings tears to my eyes..God also gave me a "special"gift in giving me my youngest son Michael. He is now 18, but has some mental issues he wll have to overcome while learning to be an adult. He sees the world thru diferent eyes than mine, which I sometimes get frustrated with. I have to step back and think that God gave him to me becsuse not all adults can handle him. I have been trying for many years to understand him, but now I try to leave it in God's hands to guide him, with me helpng to see that Michael is his own person, and that I will always love him for who he is. God bless your family this most blessed of seasons, the birth of our most trusted leader. Jesus Christ!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhitney, I have been praying for and about this time so that it will not just flatten you! This type of grief is something I deal with regularly with parents and because many of them have not allowed God to walk beside them have never dealt with the loss of their dreams. Babies come into this world with all of its weight on their tiny shoulders which is just what it is. But you are dealing with this loss of a dream as a new dream is developing. May you continue to allow God to walk and carry you through this path. Your children are precious and they are just for you! Love you, Brenda Crocker-Lathan
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful poem! Love & Prayers always for all that you hold in your heart.
ReplyDeleteKaren(Grandma Bynum)