Well, if I'm committed to honesty and keeping things real, then that means the good and the bad. I've gone back and forth on whether or not to post my feelings on something that happened yesterday at Tessa's ear mold fitting...but I do believe this is a source of therapy for me and if I can express what I feel here, maybe I can begin to move on.
I am very particular about my posts: it is never my intention to speak ugly about anyone, but I guess today I feel like the time has come to 'vent' about it here. I say all of that to say...if you are committed to focusing on the positive, you might just bypass this post and maybe wait for the next one ;)
I am writing from a place of sadness and frustration...not of hatred. I have a fight in me for my precious little baby girl, but I also have the ability to step back and understand that what we are going through is not easy to comprehend. I do not fault people for that, but I would not be human if it didn't hurt a little....or hurt a lot.
It isn't about walking in our shoes, but it is about having a loving and compassionate approach to those that are walking in shoes that you may never walk in.
Yesterday afternoon we had to take Tessa to get her new ear molds. We have had amazing experiences so far, but yesterday was a little different. Unfortunately, it was all taking place simultaneously with Tessa's 2 hour eating deadline, so she wasn't the happiest baby at the time. The person that was fitting Tessa with her ear molds was pretty rough with her little ears, trying to get the new molds in right. Putting in ear molds on a 5 month old isn't the easiest job in the world, Darin and I get that...we have to do it every day, several times a day. However, there is a compassionate approach that we take and I believe everyone should take. Granted, a crying baby adds stress to anything, but when you are dedicated to working with kids, I would think a level of tolerance could be expected.
Well, while I was trying to console Tessa, the person said "You better get used to this, little girl"...................really? To a precious little 5 month old baby girl that has no idea what is happening to her or why it is happening to her, really? To a mother exhausted by diagnosis after diagnosis, appointment after appointment, therapy after therapy, really? To a family that has been devastated by endless news of the difficulties our precious little baby will have to overcome in her lifetime, really?
Tessa's realities are indeed difficult, fitting of ear molds is indeed difficult and uncomfortable...but to have such an insensitive expression and approach is incredibly frustrating to me.
For anyone wondering when exactly I would come to a point of emotional breakdown...it was yesterday. As Darin said last night, it is good to let it go and it is good to cry those tears and take some time to fall apart. And I did, yesterday. I am still teary about it all today, but I am hopeful that I can move past it, as our day is very full again today.
Tessa responds to love and compassion....we ALL respond to love and compassion. There is never a point in time that any of us should resign ourselves to "getting used" to something uncomfortable or painful...it can always be better, it can always be approached with love and compassion.
We choose to love Tessa with our words and we choose to love Tessa with our actions...and anyone not on board with that....Please Step Aside! As a mother my heart broke yesterday...today it is on the mend, but I'm afraid it will take some time to let go of those words.
My instinct is to now apologize for 'keepin it real'...but for those of you who find this another charge to pray, I'm afraid I've made it obvious, that there is a need for emotional restoration. Thank you for loving us, encouraging us, and praying for us.
~Whitney
I'm glad you kept it real - it's good to get those feelings out, too! I'm sure as a mother it was a really hard thing to hear! Still praying for you and thinking of you guys!
ReplyDeleteEmilly
I think Forest Gump said it best..." Stupid is as stupid does". I am sorry some insensitive person messed up your day. The bright side is, yesterday is gone and today is another day full of hope and opportunity.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you shared your feelings as you did. We all need to understand just what you are going through and being honest in your posts helps us do just that.
DAD
My heart breaks just reading that. I am so sorry that someone would act in that way. Please know that Tessa and You and Darin and Parker are SURROUNDED by people who ARE compassionate towards what you are going through. I love you!
ReplyDelete"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
James 1:12
Ahhh... This just broke our hearts when Darin told me about it on the phone today. Give our precious Tessa hugs and kisses from us! Grandma and Grandpa Bynum
ReplyDeleteStep Aside - Amen!! While we shouldn't ever allow emotions to completely overtake our life remember even Jesus Christ got frustrated with unkind, hypocritical people! You don't have to be sorry for being upset about someone being - well completely rude!! You're the Mama Bear, I believe even in a much better situation that would push a button in any of our hearts, as moms. Of course it is something you must get passed but I don't think you should feel bad for being upset.
ReplyDeleteI have been in need of a good cry myself. Although for totally different reasons, obviously. I believe it is healing to cry and let things out every now and then. It doesn't make you weak but it reminds us all that we need God to lean on.
So hang in there Whitney! If you didn't go off on the person then they should be very thankful!! :)
-Brandy W.
Whitney, as a Mom who has been through a few medical appointments and hospital stays with kids, I think it is important to remember that YOU are in charge of your child's physical well-being! If you are uncomfortable with the way a medical professional is handling things, say so! A little constructive criticism never hurt anyone. If you don't speak up for your baby, who will? And God bless you for being honest. It IS a good thing.
ReplyDelete