Interview
with Whitney Bynum
EC535 –
Writing to Inspire
Marvin
“Kelly” Johnson
Baptist
Bible College and Seminary
Imagine for a moment that you have
been given the news that you are very sick. You were given no indications of
this illness; you have no idea how this disease will hurt you, nor if there is
any hope left. Throughout your life you have faithfully served God and have
felt his blessings warm you, but upon hearing this news you feel alone for the
first time. Even though everyone around you is offering support, you are still
stunned, frightened, and face an unknown future. If this thought sends a cold
chill down your spine, now realize that it is not you that received this
prognosis, but your 3-month old daughter.
Darin and Whitney Bynum had been
married almost six years and were anxiously awaiting the birth of their second
child. This young couple, in their
twenties, were unaware of the journey they were about to embark on. Their first
child, Parker was almost two years old and like any young boy, he was
constantly full of energy and kept his parents busy. On April 8th,
2010 at 10:19pm, Miss Tessa Bynum
entered into the world at 4 pounds, 15 ounces and 19 inches long. She was only
2 weeks early, but was very tiny. The doctors reassured the worried parents,
“she’s just small”.
In the weeks that followed, Whitney
felt in her heart that something was not right. Call it Mother’s intuition or
just worry (Whitney’s self-proclaimed middle name), but she knew that the
symptoms that her daughter was displaying went beyond the colic that doctors
had diagnosed her with. She was constantly in prayer asking, “for God’s help
for her to accept Tessa for exactly who she was and to rest assured that her
life was in His hands”. In the days and weeks that followed, Tessa did not seem
to be growing and was constantly fussy. Each day was a challenge, but the
family was hanging on, “until that magical 6-month-marker when babies
typically grow out of the colic” stated Whitney.
In July of 2010, the couple decided to take a
quick weekend trip from their home in Oklahoma, back to Amarillo, Texas. Tessa
had been fighting with an ear infection and had already completed one round of antibiotics;
so the couple made an appointment with their pediatrician before leaving town. Whitney describes the doctor’s demeanor on
this visit, “his approach was very different.
All we knew was that we had a sick baby on top of the existing colic…but
he seemed to look deeper.” After
consulting with other physicians, the concern was that this young child had
developed meningitis, as it appeared her ear infection had spread.
The worried parents were directed to the
hospital across the street, where Tessa would be admitted to the Pediatric
Intensive Care Unit. Scared, frightened, and confused, Whitney describes this
moment, “Little did we know, when we walked in the 10th floor unit
that Thursday morning…that it would be the beginning of a week-long stay that
would change our lives.”
The results of the meningitis test proved
negative, which began a barrage of other medical procedures in an attempt to find
the answer. Throughout this stressful time, Whitney insured that every possible
moment was spent holding Tessa, surrounding this tiny, fragile body with motherly
love. It was during this time of bonding that Whitney first noticed that Tessa
was having a seizure, “She was resting in my arms when all of the sudden her
eyes started repeating a typewriter motion for about 15 to 30 seconds”. As a result of this new symptom, a CT scan was
ordered for the first thing in the morning. Several hours later two doctors and
a nurse appeared in Tessa’s room. The nurse would stay, while these young,
frightened parents were asked to accompany the doctors to a conference room.
“There are no words to describe the pit in my
stomach and the ache in my heart during that walk down the hall.”, stated
Whitney. In this meeting her and Darin were told their daughter had severe
brain damage and, “The nature of the damage was calcium deposits on her
brain…consistent with the damage to a fetal brain from a virus called
Cytomegalovirus”. According to the centers for disease control and prevention,
“Infection with cytomegalovirus (CMV), a member of the herpes virus family, is
very common. Between 50% and 85% of the people in the United States have had a
CMV infection by the time they are 40 years old.” . This disease is normally
not the cause for any concern and once infected, the body retains the virus for
life.
Whitney had never been exposed to this virus,
but somehow had become infected while carrying Tessa. Although she was unaware
of the symptoms herself, this virus was unknowingly attacking her
daughter. Only now was she aware that
this virus could have damaged Tessa’s eyes, ears and brain. Immediately she began to blame herself and
she explains that she was flooded with questions, such as, “what have I done to
my baby … I did this … this happened to her because of me … if I had already
had CMV in my life, this would not have happened to her…therefore the fact is, this
happened because of me”. It was at this moment that God held onto this faithful
couple and sustained them. Whitney explains exactly how God revealed His face,
“He delivered me so quickly and put before us a path, a plan, a direction…and
ultimately a journey of faith that now involved a precious little girl that
would change our lives in ways we could have never imagined. “
These two young people were both children of
preachers and had accepted Jesus at a very early age. Whitney describes their
spiritual position before this experience as one where they, “found ourselves
settled into more a routine of religion than engage with the Lord”. After
hearing sober words from two doctors, Darin and Whitney found that the path God
placed them on had curves. Instead of deciding to give up, they have grown
closer to each other and to God. At the very moment when many couples may
withdraw, Whitney talks how her and Darin found strength in each other, as God
has designed. “I won’t
ever forget in the conference room, after being told that our 3 1/2 month old
daughter had severe brain damage, Darin reaching over and grabbing my hands
with the tears just streaming down my face, looking me in the eyes and saying
to me ‘you knew…you knew something was wrong’. I remember crying and asking
Darin ‘how are we going to do this?’ … he said ‘We already are!’ He reminded me how we had been ‘doing this’
for 3 ½ months now… we had been learning how to love Tessa through all her
tears and all her pain without even understanding the degree of what was
wrong.”
Throughout the days, weeks and months that have
followed, this family has received tremendous support. Whitney describes how
her Sisters immediately drove to her, “My sisters have been the strongest
support system of love and encouragement!
I would not be where I am today, on this journey, without the Lord
divine provision of amazing sisters.” Pastor Sam Bynum and his wife Karen are
Darin’s parents. Whitney adds how much they provided help when things seemed
incredibly dim. “And of course….my amazing in-laws. Sam and Karen’s love and support has been the
most incredible thing to experience. The biggest thing that stands out in my
mind was the almost 2 months that Karen came and lived with us during the week,
each week for almost 2 months, to help us care for the kids after they were
unexpectedly kicked out of the daycare they had both been enrolled at.”
Help and encouragement has come from outside
the family as well. Recently Whitney’s employer, SandRidge Energy, heard of
Tessa’s condition. Through a program known as Change Together, the employees
collected money in piggy banks throughout the company. This was gathered
together and provided Tessa with her very own iPad, which is used for
rehabilitation and therapy. Others have provided gift cards, meals, financial
support and even a last minute gift from a co-worker that provided a special
swing for Tessa which was not covered by insurance.
Their story demonstrates strength despite overwhelming
challenges, but the real encouragement of this family is the family itself.
Tessa’s older brother has always treated his baby sister with “tender love and
kindness’. Whitney describes the interaction between the children, “Parker has asked
in his own gentle way why she doesn’t crawl or walk … Parker understands but it doesn’t make a
bit of difference. He LOVES her. He would do anything for her…and he
does! Parker is by far Tessa's biggest
motivator!”
In her
little life, this young lady has provided inspiration, motivation, and love for
everyone she comes into contact with. Her smile is infectious and is genuinely
one of the happiest babies God has brought into this world. Her parents define
God’s mandate to trust in him. When asked what the prognosis is for Tessa, her
mother explains:
“Well, we
do know that we have eliminated “can’t” and “won’t” from our vocabulary…that’s
for sure! Because of the resiliency of a
baby’s brain…the possibilities are truly endless. I was just thinking about it the other
day…Tessa is 19 months old and just now exploring the world of rolling
over…when you think about it, that’s really only about a 12 month delay. THAT’S NOTHING! Tessa will meet her milestones in her own
time…and we will be there to celebrate each and every one with her.”
“Our goal is, and always will be, to love her,
care for her and encourage her. We
always hope that she stays healthy, because things can definitely get
challenging and a little scary with her health at risk, but we won’t live in
fear for if or when she does get sick, we will celebrate the health that she
has, marvel in the accomplishments she makes, and thank the Lord every minute
of every day that this is a journey that we have the privilege of being a part
of!”
Darin, Whitney, Parker, and Tessa, may the Lord
bless and keep you. It is my prayer that I may tarry long enough to see Miss
Tessa proclaim Christ at her Grandfather’s church.
written by Kelly Johnson 11/2011
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