Lighten the Load

Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."


I took a big step today. For many of you it might sound ridiculous, to others of you, maybe all too familiar.

About a month ago, I got a really cute black, white and green tote, embroidered in hot pink with "Ten Tiny Toes" to carry around all of Tessa's stuff: medical records, medical bills, insurance statements, therapy progress reports, diagnosis documents, my calendar and my trusted little 'butterfly book' that I keep all of my notes in from every appointment and every important phone call.

Today is the first day, in almost a month and a half, that I left my tote at home....on purpose. I have been carrying this bag with me every day to work. When I have a moment, I find myself analyzing Tessa's medical bills, comparing the medical bills to our insurance statements, calling to set up payment plans, working on another piece of our TEFRA application, reading and re-reading her SoonerStart therapy reports, learning what I can from the explanation of diagnosis documents, making sure we are ready for upcoming appointments, and familiarizing myself with the notes I've been taking at our weekly therapy sessions.

I admitted to Darin last night that I am drowning in the stress of it all. Every day I try harder and harder to gain control over each and every aspect of what it takes to do life these days...and I feel like I am failing miserably. The more I try to gain control, the more out-of-control I feel, in every realm. I just couldn't make sense of it all. We both feel such an overwhelming responsibility to maintain some level of normalcy in our lives, but for me lately, it has been to the extent that I have been robbing myself of the joy in my life.

I believe in God's plan for my life. I also believe that we have a responsibility to diligently act; from paying our bills, to taking care of our family and preparing for our future. What I realized yesterday (with the help of my husband, of course) is that diligence to the extent of worry and stress, I believe, is beyond what God desires for our lives. I feel like my faith is only as good as the joy and peace I choose over stress and worry. God's got this. That doesn't mean I abandon my responsilibities as a wife, a mother and an employee, but it does mean, when the burden is heavy, we turn to Him for rest.

So, today I left my tote at home. Today I am allowing God to lighten my load because I am weary and burdened and He promises to give me rest.

~Whitney