Today, Refreshed

Jeremiah 31:25
"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."

Today, from Jesus Calling:
"You have been on a long, uphill journey, and your energy is almost spent.  Though you have faltered at times, you have not let go of My hand.  I am pleased with your desire to stay close to Me.  There is one thing, however, that displeases Me: your tendency to complain.  You may talk to Me as much as you like about the difficulty of the path we are following.  I understand  better than anyone else the stresses and strains that have afflicted you.  You can ventilate safely to Me, because talking with Me tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective.
Complaining to others is another matter altogether.  It opens the door to deadly sins such as self-pity and rage.  Whenever you are tempted to grumble, come to Me and talk it out.  As you open up to Me, I will put My thoughts in your mind and My song in your heart."

Last night, after my walk, I tried to open up to Darin.  The very thing I was trying to explain to him last night, is some of what I pulled from my reading in Jesus Calling, today.  I was trying to tell him how healing my tears were, but how difficult it was to try to talk about it.  It's hard to explain to someone how I'm feeling sometimes... specifically, how I am feeling.  It's hard to let anyone else in on such a tender moment, because I know they can't fully comprehend the sting of emotion.  I know, that more than anyone else in the world, Darin comes the absolute closest to understanding how I feel...but it still falls short.  Even though I could not find the words to explain it last night, I was trying to express to him, this exact frustration...that there is no one that can truly understand how I feel.  I realize this morning, that in that moment last night, I desperately and selfishly, wanted someone to feel the exact same intensity of the sting, as I did.  An unfair expectation and fallible desire of my heart.

Today, how refreshing is it, that the Lord not only gave me the words to describe what I was feeling last night, but He gave me a gentle reminder...  "You may talk to Me as much as you like about the difficulty of the path we are following".  Last night I was confused why I was struggling with sharing how I was feeling, but I think it was a nudge to talk to Him.  I 'thought' a lot about the Lord last night.  I 'thought' about the path we are on and how weary I am, but last night, I didn't talk to Him.

We all feel and experience things differently.  The Lord is the only true One that can understand the cries of our heart..."I understand better than anyone else the stresses and strains that have afflicted you".  I don't think my "Writing Raw" was a mistake.  I don't think a moderate expression of our feelings is wrong.  I do think, the desperation and isolation that I felt, should have been a reminder to me, to talk to the Lord.

Today, for a moment, I thought 'how stupid of me"...but, we are selfish/prideful human beings.  We will never exhaust the need to continue filling ourselves with truth and promises from scripture.  We will always fall short and we will always need reminders that He is there, ready to "...refresh the weary and satisfy the faint".

~Whitney